Runaway

The most uninspired entry in sci-fi/techno-thriller novelist turned filmmaker Michael Crichton's oeuvre asks the question, what if we remade Blade Runner, but instead of an incredible dystopian vision of the future where a special branch of the police tracks down sexy androids going through existential crises, we set it in the most generic version of the mid-80s imaginable and have a special branch of the police that tracks down refrigerators, roombas, and electronic tinker toys that have been programmed to kill by a smirking Gene Simmons.

Runaway stars the preternaturally charming Tom Selleck in the only film or TV show where he doesn't light up every scene he's in. He plays a cop who quits the streets because he suffers from Virtigo (I think I've heard of that before) and switched to a job where he has to spend a lot of time flying around in a helicopter—makes sense. He's the most outspoken, quick-to-action member of a unit that specializes in malfunctioning robots that "run away" (hence the incredibly forgettable single-word title). Selleck and his new partner (Cynthia Rhodes) find themselves investigating the first-ever robotic homicide. It turns out that this renegade machine, and many others, have been programmed to kill as part of a homicidal plot. With the help of Kirstie Alley, they discover Dr. Charles Luther (KISS frontman Gene Simmons without stage make-up but looking just as goofy as he mugs and poses in every shot he's in) is creating a line of killer robots. Simmons' comical villain is the best thing about this picture, which is the embodiment of a "low-energy thriller." Despite being shot in widescreen by legendary cinematographer John A. Alonzo (Vanishing Point, Chinatown, Norma Rae, Scarface), everything about this picture looks and feels like a TV movie.