Thor

Thor is one of the silliest comic book super heroes ever, but as a quasi-historical character, The Norse God of Thunder actually has a pretty interesting backstory. He is from a race of aliens who visited Earth during Viking times and were regarded by the Norwegians as Gods. However this film pays only lip service to that narrative in favor of a lame origin story for the character (oh these super heroes with their tiresome origin stories). The screenwriters have appropriated the Norse legend of the Bifröst, a burning rainbow-bridge between Earth and the realm of the Gods, and use it as a kind of Star Trek transporter system for their characters to cross back and forth between worlds at the drop of a hat. This is just one example of how movies of this ilk turn something truly amazing into something commonplace. The Bifröst is a simple swinging door, and Thor is just another tiresomely indestructible, all-powerful superman (yawn!). Fortunately, the beefcake actor who stars in the film (Chris Hemsworth) plays the role amiably--without taking himself too seriously but refraining from Robert Downey Jr.-level audience winking. If only this were true of the rest of the cast. As the Gods, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Colm Feore, and Idris Elba, all seem to think they are appearing in a very important piece of cinema. As the mortals on Earth, Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgård and Kat Dennings, each appear to be acting in completely different films. Portman ineptly overplays her absurd dialogue, while Skarsgård, looking incredibly unhappy to be in this movie, phones his in.

Amazingly, this film is directed by the talented Shakespearean actor/filmmaker Kenneth Branagh, who has made some bad films before but nothing as dull as this.  I can understand why Branagh got the gig, since Thor is written as a mash up of Shakespearean royal family power struggle, Arthurian legend, and goofy fish-out-of-water comedy. But the director does not achieve a tonal balance between these stylistic elements. Visually the film is even more uninspired. The Earthbound scenes, shot mostly in New Mexico, have an empty, generic atmosphere, but at least they feel real, unlike the heavenly cloud city of Asgard, and the frozen waste of the planet Jotunheim where the villains of the film reside. These otherworldly realms are entirely computer generated and look about as wondrous as a laptop screensaver. The costumes of this movie are the only element worthy of note, so I’ll note them… cool costumes.